I had one of those moments today. The kind all of the moms talk about when you’re in those dark times of infanthood, thinking you’ll never feel normal again. Where they look at your unwashed hair and dark circles under your eyes and say, “it’s totally worth it.”
And guess what? This afternoon it was totally worth it.
I took E to a splash park today after his nap. When we pulled up, all I could hear was laughter and wet feet hitting the pavement. It sounded like summer. I was instantly filled with a combination of nostalgia and happiness that I could share an afternoon like this one with my son. As we got closer, I realized the park was crazy, and I wasn’t sure how E would handle it. But as soon as I set him down, he took off like bullet straight into the water, squealing with joy. I did my best to keep up with him, getting shot with water canons the whole time, eventually just hanging out on the edges and watching him go. He’d play for a minute or two then look and up and find me and run right into my arms, soaked and smiling. After about 30 minutes, he started to get so cold his (2) teeth were chattering, so I scooped him up, wrapped him in a towel and headed toward the shade for a snack. I handed him some graham crackers, and he leaned back on me and cuddled up to get warm. Then I looked down at him, with tiny beads of water on his face and food in his cheeks, completely comfortable and content — and I realized so was I. I gave him a hug and rested my face on the top of his head, and we just sat there people watching and enjoying summer. It was perfect.
Secret graham crackers.
I wish I could talk to myself a year ago. I’d tell myself that all of those people saying it’s worth it — they’re actually right and not just trying to make me feel better. I’d tell myself that a year is actually quicker than I think. That I’m tougher than I think I am.
But since I can’t time travel, I’ll just hold on to my moment from today. Hold on to it hard. And know that I have so many more moments just like that one to look forward to.
