Mom Badge

A blog about earning your mom stripes, one blow out diaper at a time.

Month: June 2017

I hired a sleep consultant

June 20, 2017 / / 0 Comments

The internet is a dark, dark place for parents with newborns. If you’ve ever had a question about ANYTHING in regards to your baby, the internet has at least a thousand different answers for you. And of course, since you’re up at all hours of the day and night, you spend too much time on your phone as a slave to The Google. “What are the symptoms of acid reflux?” “How many naps should my 2 month old be taking?” “How much sleep does my newborn need?” “How dangerous is it for my baby to sleep in a rock and play?” All of these and more I’ve searched, and not a single time did I get a straight forward answer I was satisfied with. So, since 99% of my questions revolve around sleep, I decided to bring in an expert. I hired a sleep consultant.

Honestly, I had my doubts. She wasn’t exactly cheap, and the whole thing kind of felt like I was being sold snake oil. You’re really going to help me figure out a newborn’s napping issues? Yeah right, lady. From what I’ve seen, newborns only obey one thing. And that’s absolutely nothing.

However, I was desperate. Benji is — how do I say this — a difficult sleeper. Naps are a joke. He won’t sleep more than 20-30 minutes unless he’s strapped to my body. I’ve tried the car (hates it), the stroller (hates it), the rock and play (hates it), his crib (REALLY hates it). Unless the mattress is made of living, breathing human, he’s not having it. Unfortunately for him, his mommy is not much of a people person and gets touched out by about noon everyday. Not to mention, wearing 13 lbs of baby is like being pregnant all over again, but worse. My back was killing me. So, enter sleep lady.

We had a 30 minute phone call where I told her about Benji and his neverending FOMO and she gave me a few painfully simple ideas to try. Don’t let him have more than an hour and a half of awake time. Make his room dark. Use a sound machine, medium volume, white noise only. Swaddle him. Rock for a few minutes, then place him in his crib or rock and play with a pacifier. Walk away. No seriously. She told me to just walk away.

I’m not going to lie, it sounded like witchcraft. But I tried it, and sure as shit the Benji boy just fell asleep on his own. No hour of rocking and bouncing. No crazy thrashing and punching me in the face. It was a miracle.

Since that first day, we’ve had mixed success with our new little routine, but overall things are SO much better. Naps are still a ridiculous exercise in insanity, but at least bedtime is a breeze (for now). And the moral of the story? Stay away from the internet, friends. Unless it’s to Google someone who actually knows what they’re doing.

From One to Two

June 16, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Just like with number one, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect with number two. All I knew is that it would be a wild and sleepless ride — one I wasn’t sure I was capable of handling. Now that we’re two and a half months in, I’m still not sure I’m capable of handling this, but everyone is alive, fed and mostly happy, so I guess things are alright. And, just like everyone said, the second one is nothing like the first.

Here are a few observations I’ve made about the differences between my boys:

  • Elliott would just pass out. No swaddling, no rocking, nothing. Just a pacifier and a cozy lap, and he’d be out in 5 minutes or less. Benji on the other hand? I can’t even begin to describe the number of gimmicks required. And they change every week it seems like. Swaddle, pacifier, sound machine, rocking, bouncing, rock and play — all of these and more are required to get him to sleep. And even with all that crap, it can still take over an hour. We won’t even discuss napping. Kill me now.
  • Elliott is tough as nails. I can’t tell you how many times I couldn’t tell if he was sick or not and I’d take him into the doctor and they’d tell me something like, “yeah, he has bronchiolitis and a double ear infection.” Benji, on the other hand? He’s my sensitive baby. When he feels crappy, we ALL know.
  • I thought Elliott was a momma’s boy. Nope. Benji has him beat already, hands down. This baby looks at me like I’m the most magnificent thing he’s ever set eyes on. He also NEVER takes his eyes off me. He literally tracks me around a room, grinning from ear to ear. And if I get out of eyesight? Tears. I didn’t think that sort of thing was supposed to happen until 6 months. Yikes. Needless to say, the kid has my heart.
  • Whenever you bring a tiny baby out in public, they become an instant celebrity. Every time someone saw baby Elliott they would say, “Oh, that hair!” Whenever I bring Benji out? “Oh, those eyes! He’s so alert.” Yeah, lady. They never close either. Like, ever.

Even though I sleep like garbage, feel like I’m scratching and clawing my way through every day, and hardly have five minutes to myself, I’d say I’m still enjoying this boy mom life. And I’m looking forward to seeing all the ways my boys are different — and the same. If these first few months are any indication, they’re going to have an amazing bond, and I’m so happy for them. When I got into this breeder business, all I wanted was to create two children who had the same kind of relationship my sister and I had. I think we’re well on our way.

Flying with baby(s)

June 14, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I started this blog with a post about flying solo with my 2 month old. And now, as if life has come full circle, I’m going to relaunch Mom Badge with a post about flying solo with my 2 month old — and 2.5 year old.

You might say I’m crazy for attempting such a daring feat after the tragedy that was my first solo flight with a kid. But honestly, the shit (literally and figuratively) that’s been thrown my way since that day makes that flight seem like a cake walk. But if I were to say I wasn’t completely nervous and overwhelmed at the thought of having a toddler and an infant by myself in a confined space full of other adults for 2 hours and 20 minutes, I’d be lying. Not to mention the mental load and strategy involved in hauling not only my human cargo, but all the junk that comes with them. I mean because we can’t get on a plane without our spiky backpack, Apatosaurus, Maui doll, water painting, headphones, etc., right? Not to mention the diapers, wipes, snacks, sippy cups and changes of clothes that are just your standard “we’re leaving the house” packing. Thankfully, I had a couple of weeks to think about it (which I did), so on flight day, my mind was fortified and my plan complete.

Totally worth the trip.

So, how did I do it you ask? I’M SO GLAD YOU DID. I would be heartbroken if all my work went unnoticed. Ok, first I brought a stroller. Typically, if I had Peter with me, I’d leave that piece of garbage at home. But being alone, I needed it for two reasons: 1. Toddler containment. 2. Junk hauling (see list of stuffed animals and toys above). The baby I just strapped to my body in the Ergo so I could have two hands. Because those were needed for pushing the stroller with one, pulling the rolling luggage with the other. Once I got through the full service line, because obviously I need to prove with a copy of his birth certificate that Benji is under two years old (insert eye roll here), things got monumentally easier.

The next secret to success is TSA Pre. It took like 15 minutes as some office in the middle of nowhere to get it, and it’s been completely worth it. Everyone gets to keep their shoes and jackets on, and the line is about 1,000 times shorter. Not to mention they don’t swab my hands because I’m baby wearing.

Now, the tricky part. Occupying a toddler for 2 hours and 20 minutes on an airplane. All I can say is, God bless technology. And a huge thank you to my son for being obsessed with movies, specifically Moana. I just plugged him right in, threw a bunch of sugary snacks his way, and had zero regrets. The baby? Easy. Milk, bouncing and a human mattress. Which to anyone else sounds like that scene from Anchorman where Will Ferrell is stumbling down the street saying, “milk was a bad choice,” but for Benji, it works like a charm. Couple that with the plane noise, and he took one of the best naps he’s had in weeks. I need a jet engine near his rock and play, apparently.

Anyway, after I had both boys set up, I spent the rest of the flight praying for things to stay exactly the same and trying to stretch my wrist that most definitely has carpal tunnel from all the baby holding. And guess what? IT TOTALLY DID. The flight was on time, there wasn’t turbulence, and the boys were angels. The only tantrum thrown was when we had to get off the plane and mommy turned off Octonauts (I’m a terrible person, I know). But considering the number of horrible scenarios that I played out in my mind for weeks beforehand, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. I’m not saying I’ll do it again anytime soon, but for now I can say that I did, and I felt like a total badass afterwards.

Snacks. Always bring snacks.

 

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