Independent. Busy. Strong-willed. Good eater.
These are the most frequent adjectives used to describe my child, and honestly, just looking at them makes me feel a little tired. Mr. Full Throttle has been walking for about three months now, and things have been borderline chaos ever since. At the moment I’m a little terrified of restaurants, grocery stores, and shopping establishments. Or basically any place that expects a certain amount of order and decorum. Because we have neither of these. E can wipe out a shelf of, well, anything without an ounce of awareness or remorse. I follow behind trying to simultaneously “reprimand” and clean up, and pray to god we can get out of there before he does enough damage to wipe out his college fund.
Happy!
And not only is he physically on the move, he’s emotionally on the move. His mood goes from lovable and snuggly to meltdown-punch-you-in-the-face-with-a-wooden-ice-cream-cone in 2 seconds flat. So of course, now that we’re sleeping a little bit better, my daily Google search has gone from “sleep training methods” to “how to deal with tantrums.”
Which means it happened. I have a toddler.
Enraged!
I remember the first time he threw himself backwards in a screaming fit because he didn’t get what he wanted. I seriously thought to myself, “No way. He’s only 10 months old. He must have hurt himself or something.” And then he did it again. And again. And again. Which is about the point when it started to sink in that my baby was gone, and that my wild-haired little buddy had begun the process of manipulating me with his screams and tears. Early. I guess he’s a prodigy. We all have to be good at something, I suppose.
The internet told me that children who start tantruming at 10 months have some very desirable attributes that will benefit them later as an adult. Like creativity, persistence, and sensitivity. But in this particular moment in time, they suck ass. And as we all know, the internet doesn’t lie. So I’m going to believe that E machine is just some kind of tortured artist, yearning for freedom from his horrible, overbearing mother. But seriously, y’all. I truly thought I’d have a little more time before all of this crazy began.
Anyway, I’d have a witty conclusion for this blog, but I’m tired. In a different way now. The tired that comes from trying to demystify the mind of a toddler, which as we all know is a lost cause. But I’m a little strong-willed, persistent, and creative so I’m going to keep at it.
P.S. – Could someone get me a snack?