So, I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been a little busy. As you may have seen or heard, baby Benji is WALKING. I find this both unfair and unacceptable. Ok, that’s kind of harsh. Obviously, I’m thrilled that he’s developing just the way he should. But he kind of missed the memo that he’s my last baby and I wanted him to say baby-ish for, I don’t know, at least a year. Instead, he seems to be made of pure determination. And chunky tree trunk thighs.

This early walking thing means I spend everyday juggling the demands of a high-needs toddler and the world’s tiniest mobile person who wants nothing more in this life than to eat electrical cords. I mentioned he’s determined, right? That special quality of his inspired us to rename the dog bowl, the lamp cord and the bathroom the “Triangle of Terror” because he spends all his waking hours trying to assault them. The phrase “No, Benji. No wires.” has zero effect. All our barricades and baby proofing have been breached. Not only that, but when he succeeds, he just looks at us and smiles. Needless to say, I’m tired.

But the craziest thing about Benji the walking wunderkind is taking him out in public. He straight up freaks people out. Everytime I set him down and he takes off, someone inevitably asks, “How OLD is he?!” or “How long has he been walking?!” When I tell them he’s been cruisin’ since 8 months old, the shock only deepens. Admittedly, watching something that tiny walk around like it’s no big deal is bizarre to witness.

I’ll keep the conclusion to this post simple. He better use his professional athlete money to buy his momma a beach house.

Check out this fly guy.