Ok, y’all. I have a confession to make. I totally wussed out on REAL Ferber last time I tried it. I’d get 7 minutes in to that third round of crying and I’d race in the room and put in his pacifier. It totally worked, so I didn’t think anything of it. Then E turned 6 months old, and everything changed. We began to encounter a little thing known as “object permanence.” Basically, that means the little guy all of a sudden realized when things were there — and when they were suddenly gone. During the day, it’s totally awesome. He recognizes when people, toys, pets, etc. are in the room and when they leave. It’s like he’s an actual tiny person now — completely a part of this world. However, what was a totally doable paci plug up once a night became putting in a pacifier every 45 minutes. All. Night. Long. Because, well, that thing he fell asleep with would fall out and be gone, and when he’d transition to another sleep cycle (I’ve done a shit ton of research, as you can see. I told you I’m obsessed with the topic of sleep.), he’d wake up because his paci was missing. Mixed with a dose of illness (both him and me) and Christmas “vacation,” and you’re looking at a haggard momma who hadn’t slept longer than 2 hours in a stretch in over two weeks. I was a zombie — and I was done.
And so real Ferber began.
Napping in his crib, wearing tiny jeans, like a big boy.
Actually, let’s clear a few things up. First, I made sure E wasn’t sick. We hit up the doctor, got all checked out, and he got a clean bill of health. Second, when he would wake up at night, he wasn’t angry. Just awake. So I knew he wasn’t hungry or in pain, he just didn’t know how to put himself to sleep without a pacifier. Third, I made sure both Peter and I were on board. I knew if we were going to do this thing, we both had to do it.
I started with his first nap of the day because I knew I’d be able to handle the crying a lot better in the day time. I did like the book said and started with 3 minutes, then went in and consoled him for less than a minute, then left. Then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, and on and on… it took only 12 minutes. I was shocked. The second nap went about the same. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about this whole Ferberizing thing.
Then came the night.
At bedtime, we did our evening routine and once again it took him about 12 minutes to get to sleep. I went to bed at 8 p.m. because I just had this feeling that things might get real. At 11:40 p.m., they SO did. E woke up crying. So, I started in with the check and console thing. And I continued it for TWO HOURS. I had the shakes. I had the nervous laughs. I questioned the meaning of life. But at 1:30 a.m., he finally went to sleep. And stayed asleep until 6:30 the next morning. When he woke up, he looked at me and gave me the most beaming smile. I smiled back, fed him, and then began nursing the raging headache I had. It was rough, but we made it out with grins on our faces.
The following day was awesome. Both naps only had about a minute of crying before he was asleep. I couldn’t believe it. At bedtime, it was maybe 7 minutes. Of course, I was a nervous wreck all night, so I woke up at 2:30 a.m. and couldn’t fall back asleep. I heard him sing himself to sleep at 3 a.m., cough at 4:30 a.m., and then finally wake up crying at 5 a.m. I kind of panicked at this point. It’s so close to his normal wake up time — what do I do? Go in there? Feed him? I waited a bit and when he kept crying I went in. He had a blow out diaper and was most certainly hungry. I changed the diaper and his PJs, fed him, and he went back to sleep until 6:40. I felt like I had won a major award.
We’re now almost a week in, and I swear some sort of sorcery has occured. He doesn’t even cry anymore when I put him to sleep. He just talks a little, rolls over, and night night. He still wakes up angry between 4 and 5 a.m., but after a diaper change and some food, he goes back to sleep. Does anyone know what I should do about that early morning wake up? It’s so close to his actual wake up time that I don’t feel like Ferberizing is the key, but maybe I’m just wussing out again? Perhaps I should just keep going to bed at 9 p.m. so I can be ready for my early morning wake up call? Help, friends!
Happy baby in a box of bubble wrap. It has nothing to do with sleep training, but it’s cute. So there.
